Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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