Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
