there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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