dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
