I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
