should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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