some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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