Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
