you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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