I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
