just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You were trust falling into bushes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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