whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
