Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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