you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
