is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
