The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
