just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
