Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
