spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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