We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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