Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
