I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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