i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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