i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
