Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
