Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
