She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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