we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
