how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We have so much sex to catch up on
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
