I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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