Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
