just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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