After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
