So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
