I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
