im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
