not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I won the penis lottery.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
