I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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