garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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