Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
