If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my shit smells like andre
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
