I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
