literally had 100 drinks last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
