Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
PANTIES FOUND
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