My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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