If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
