There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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