i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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