I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
