Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
