K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
