Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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