Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
