I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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